I went to an event with my dad at his church yesterday. A couple of things happened that made me a bit uncomfortable. I was actually quite angry but I had to check myself because I wondered if I was being too sensitive, too easily offended or if my reactions were unwarranted.
My dad, who lives with me, is 85 and not too steady on his feet due to his severe rheumatoid and osteo arthritis. He uses a cane around the house and a walker when out. He also has trouble walking any distance. He gets winded pretty quickly and has COPD and reduced lung capacity so he needs to park close, take frequent breaks when walking, use a wheelchair (his least favorite), or be dropped off at the door. He is considered to have a disability.
So back to the event. It was a cook out hosted by a church group that dad is a part of and it was held in an outdoor pavilion. The parking is not super convenient so when we go to events at this venue, I drop him off at the walkway to the pavilion. It is pretty flat and level and only about 10 yards. This time, however, the president of the organization had parked his very large pick up truck, complete with an attached trailer, across the walkway, completely blocking it. I found this to be incredibly selfish and thoughtless. I had to drop dad off at another walkway that was less level and probably 50 yards from the venue. When we got inside and dad found this man, he asked to have his truck moved before we planned to leave. He said he would and wandered away to mingle and schmooze. Fast forward. He did not move the truck.
A bit later, another member of the event team was passing out ice cream for dessert by going up and down the already narrow aisles with a large cart. When he approached the area in which we were sitting, he picked up my dad's walker with one had, held it over his head, and maneuvered the ice cream cart forward with the other. Once past, he all but dropped the walker with a clatter, almost hitting at least two people in the head with it, then moved on with his cart.
These things really irritated me. The truck parked across the path was bad enough, but the fact that, even when told it was blocking the way and made it impossible for anyone with a disability to use it, this man was unconcerned and failed to by an ally and move his truck. I am quite certain that he parked there for his own convenience. It is the closest path to the pavilion and he was likely unloading things to carry to the event. But once he had done this, he should have moved his truck. It likely never crossed his mind that by blocking the path he was marginalizing certain people. He was not impacted so it was not even on his radar.
This is all too typical unfortunately. I see this all the time with many marginalized groups. This idea that you only need to be sensitive or concerned sometimes. If they are watching or part of your group, if you think they are in need of an accommodation, if it makes sense to you. If people with disabilities tell you they need something, odds, they need it! Now, I am sure there are people with disabilities who take advantage of things periodically, but the vast majority do not. They do not want special treatment, or to make others feel uncomfortable or badly, or to put anyone out. They just want equitable access and treatment.
As for the person who man-handled dad's walker, for him, the walker was just an object in his way. He saw no reason to treat it differently than any other thing in his way. But, I am sure he would have reacted differently if someone's foot or child was in the way of his cart. He would have asked the owner of the foot or the carer of the child to please move them so he could get by. Specialized equipment is an extension of a person with a disability, much like a foot, and should be treated with as much care. Grabbing his walker, swinging it overhead and plopping it down aggressively was not appropriate. Dad should have been asked if the walker was his, and then could he move it please so the cart could get past.
Again this happens all too frequently as well. People will often move equipment out of their way and then not even return it to its original location. Without a walker, most users are pretty immobile. They need this equipment. If it is moved away from them, they are left hobbled. Even worse is when wheelchair users have to relinquish control of their chairs to board a plane and then hope and pray that it comes back in one piece. Airlines are notorious for damaging expensive power wheelchairs when they are placed under planes in the cargo hold. Another common occurrence with wheelchairs is either grabbing onto them to guide the user, or actually moving the chair with the person in it, often to a location that is less than desirable, out of the way, under the guise of keeping the user "safe". But what it is usually about is keeping them out of the way of the rest of the crowd.
I recently read a post by Emily Ladau on her FB Page, Words to Wheel By, that reminded me of this. Here is are some excerpts that exemplify my point:
"[While dining with friends at a restaurant, another diner] had tripped over [her] wheelchair and was determined to let everyone know that the space [she] took up was a problem. 'She's dangerous. She's dangerous.'
[She] felt awful that [the woman] had tripped, but [Emily] is not an object or a threat. [She] turned around and said, 'Ma'am, I'm not a danger. I'm a human being.'
A few weeks later...after [an] event, there was a reception, where [she] arrived only to discover the area where everyone gathered was down a giant step. So, instead of being able to join the group, [she] was offered an isolated spot in a corner where [she] could see people chatting and laughing through a window...kept out of the way. As though that corner was the only place [she] belonged."
People with disabilities are entitled to and deserve equitable access EVERYWHERE all the time, not just when it is convenient or easier for others. They deserve to be treated with respect, including treating their equipment with respect. They should not be expected to have to access a public space through an inequitable entrance, one that is inconvenient, around the back or less than accessible. And they should not have their equipment manhandled and disrespected. We have finally done away with "whites only" drinking fountains, so why can't we do away with "able-bodied only" venues?